Tupac-Online.com - Interview - In The Mind of Tupac Shakur

Interview - Inside The Mind Of Tupac Shakur

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In the VIBE article, you mentioned an organization that you were starting with Mike Tyson. What happened with that?

Now I'm doing it with Death Row. I was going to do it myself and I found out when I was about to be sentenced to jail that there was a spot called "A Place Called Home" I was about to be sent to jail for an old gun case that I had. The judge was like "You can tell your side of who you are and the prosecutor gave this big-fat envelope of everytime I got arrested and all this stuff that made me look like a crazed animal. We got someone who didn't work for us to write my life's story talking about everybody in my family and the people that I helped. This lady from the community center wrote as well. We were planning already to do this big concert with me and my homeboys to raise money to have a center in North Central were we can have the "at risk" kids come to a spot that they can call home-where they can get guidance, tutoring, love, nurturing; we're going to do a spot like that. So instead of it just being a program with me and Tyson like I planned it, cause it's me sitting in the penitentiary thinking, is now moved into this program called "A Place Called Home." that I'm working closely with. There's also a program called "Celebrity Youth League" with me, Hammer, Suge and all of these sports figures are each going to sponsor a youth group all year in football, baseball and basketball. We sponsor the team, buy the uniforms, hire the coach and start out own little league.

How do you relax from all this that you're doing?

There's three ways: shopping, driving down Sunset with the top down on any car and being with my homeboys. Not necessarily the older homies but the younger one's. Vibing off of what they're talking about and what's going on, and dropping whatever I have to drop to them. Then It's not like I'm doing this shit in vain.

Do you keep in touch with old friends?

On a whole, I don't have any friends. Friends come and go; I've lost my trust factor. I believe I have people who think they're my friends. And believe that there are people probably in their heart are friendly towards me or are friends to me. But they're not my friends because what I learned is that fear is stronger than love. So soon as somebody scarier comes along, they won't be my friend anymore. I learned that on the floor at Times Square--so I don't have friends, I have family. You're either my all the way family or just somebody on the outside.

Are you tight with your family?

Yeah, we took it back to the old school. We got the head of the family, we listen to the rules and regulations, order and organization. Now we're a living breathing family when before we were a dying-dysfunctional family. We still got problems but know we're learning how to deal with it.

What religion are you?

I'm the religion that to me is the realist religion there is. I try to pray to God every night unless I pass out. I learned this in jail, I talked to every God (member of the Five Percent Nation) there was in jail. I think that if you take one of the "O's" out of "Good" it's "God", if you add a "D" to "Evil", it's the "Devil". I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers. That's what they came up with-the bible. Cause if God wrote the bible, I'm sure there would have been a revised copy by now. Cause a lot of shit has changed. I've been looking for this revised copy-I still see that same old copy that we had from then. I'm not disrespecting anyone's religion, please forgive me if it comes off that way, I'm just stating my opinion. The bible tells us that all these did this because they suffered so much that's what makes them special people. I got shot five times and I got crucified to the media. And I walked through with the thorns on and I had shit thrown on me and I had the theif at the top; I told that nigga "I'll be back for you. Trust me, is not supposed to be going down, I'll be back. I'm not saying I'm Jesus but I'm saying we go through that type of thing everyday. We don't part the Red Sea but we walk through the hood without getting shot. We don't turn water to wine but we turn dope fiends and dope heads into productive citizens of society. We turn words into money. What greater gift can there be. So I belive God blesses us, I belive God blesses those that hustle. Those that use their minds and those that overall are righteous. I belive that everything you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad, I'm going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I belive what I'm doing in my heart is right. So I feel like I'm going to heaven. I think heaven is just when you sleep, you sleep with a good conscience-you don't have nightmares. Hell is when you sleep, the last thing you see is all the fucked up things you did in your life and you just see it over and over again, cause you don't burn. If that's the case, it's hell on earth cause bullets burn. There's people that got burned in fires, does that mean they went to hell already? All that is here. What do you got there that we ain't seen here? What, we're gonna walk around aimlessly like zombies? That's here! You ain't been on the streets lately? Heaven now, look! (reffering to his plush apartment) we're sitting up here in the living room-big screen TV- this is heaven, for the moment. Hell is jail I seen that one. Trust me, this is what's real. And all that other shit is to control you. If the churches took half the money that they was making and gave it back to the community, we'd be alright. If they took half the buildings that they use to "praise God" and gave it to motherfuckers who need God, we'd be alright. Have you seen some of these got damn churches lately? There's one's that take up the whole block in New York. There's homeless people out here. Why ain't God lettin' them stay there? Why these niggas got gold ceilings and shit? Why God need gold ceilings to talk to me? Why does God need colored windows to talk to me? Why God can't come where I'm at where he sent me? If God wanted to talk to me in a pretty spot like that, why the hell he send me here then. That makes ghetto kids not belive in God. Why? So that's wrong religion-I belive in God, I belive God puts us where ever we want to be at. They didn't make sense that God would put us in the ghetto. That means he wants us to work hard to get up out of here. That means he's testing us even more. That makes sense that if you're good in your heart, you're closer to God but if you're evil than your closer to the devil; that makes sense! I see that everyday all that other spooky shit, don't make sense. I don't even belive, I'm not dissin' them but I don't belive in the brothers, I've been in jail with 'em and having conversations with brothers; "I'm God, I'm God." You God, open the gate for me. You know far the sun is and how far the moon is, how the hell do I pop this fuckin' gate? And get me free and up outta here. Then I'll be a Five Percenter for life.

What type of woman would it take to settle you down?

A very, very strong woman. One who's more in love with me because I could be more in love with her than she is. Everytime I fall in love with a woman I don't fall in love with the woman she is, I fall in love with the woman she could be. I haven't found a woman yet, that has met up to my standards. And I'm sure I don't fit up to everyone's standards. But I haven't found one yet, but I found one that I think has the potential to be the rawest woman in the world. I feel like it's natural for a man especially being black to feel like he's the king and he's looking for his queen. That's where I'm at right now. You can't be a king until you've made yourself; Until you've done something. And I've accomplished my goals that made me a man. Now I feel like I'm a man, now I set out goals to make me a king. Not a king of anyone else but me. Nobody else is under my rule but me. I made my self into a king, now I need a queen to be happy so I can be a teacher and a father, I can't be that until I find a queen-So I'm stuck in limbo.